Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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