when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
