Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's shark week go big or go home
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
