covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
