my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
