How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
