I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
only you would photoshop your dick
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
