"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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