I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
