i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
