the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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