Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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