she woke up with a sticky ear
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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