I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
