Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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