my vag is so smooth its legendary
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
