that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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