i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
