One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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