I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
