god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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