did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
