Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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