I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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