i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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