so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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