Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
