He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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