I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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