why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
