Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
