Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
