i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
