Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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