Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize