it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
