I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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