Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
