I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
