I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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