I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
