Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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