How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This is classic penis vs brain.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
A bitchslap is in order.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
