Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
