I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
