you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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