I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
