So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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