Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
