And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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