how can u be prego again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
