my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
