similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
