When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
