dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
