My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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