Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
