Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
