I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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