Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
