there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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