I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
this boner is exhausting
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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