you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
