3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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