An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
They have beer where we have blood.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
