Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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