At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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