I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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