I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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