Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
