I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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